I can't help it.

So since coming back from Vegas..I have had water works from my eye sockets 3 or 4 times... mind you I only just got home yesterday. Why you might ask? It's this bitch of a deployment staring me in the face. You know she's there waiting for her time to come... and when it does, well no one will be happy.

I got an update from our Family Readiness Officer otherwise known as a FRO... ya I just call him a fro.. like "that dude's fro has a comb in it... crazy" I know what it's called I just choose to name him the fro. He's a good guy and I am glad I got his email added. But I don't like the updates on This deployment is coming up fast... and the update gave a little to what they did in Mojave viper and some helpful hints to keep a family going through one... okay here come water works.

I can't help it anymore... I think about it and I get a lump in my throat.. yes it's that instant, and if I keep thinking about it I spring a leak. and it won't go away until someone hugs me. Dave is still home so that hugging part is working out well but I fear what will happen when he is actually gone. Will I be able to stop crying or will I just be teary eyed until he comes home?

I feel weak in all senses of the word when I think about it. I can't let it show I want to be strong for him and me but I truly have no control over my eye glands.. and if they want to become moist then so be it. They are in control now... even as I type this I feel a lump creeping up into my throat... better stop thinking now.